The secret to gift giving is knowing something about to whom you are giving a gift. For example, my many admirers know who I am (Queen of the World) and send the appropriate gift. I have, in my time, received Limoges boxes, Faberge eggs, and a diamond encrusted brassiere.
So, which was your favorite?
Hmm? What was that, Jester?
Your favorite. If you’ve gotten that many, you must have at least one favorite.
Well, I’ve received a variety of lovely and lavish gifts. Although I didn’t enjoy Munch’s “The Scream” that much.
Uh wasn’t that stolen?
A complete misunderstanding. My admirer became overzealous in his gift giving and I spoke to him sharply about it. I did send the painting back with an apology, though.
Uh huh. You still haven’t answered the question.
Which question was that, dear?
Which of the many gifts you’ve received is your favorite?
Oh, that question. Well, if you must know, it was a gift from the Prince Consort.
Prince Consort? Did you demote him?
He’s always been the Prince Consort. The world can only handle one supreme ruler at a time. Now please try to keep up with the conversation.
Riiiight.
As I was saying, my favorite gift was given by my dear Prince.
Which would be?
A toaster.
A what?
A toaster. You must have seen one before.
I know what a toaster is. But the bigger question is do you know what it is?
Of course I do.
Then what is it?
At the moment, it’s a lovely paperweight.
Of course it is. You do realize that it’s meant to be used in the kitchen to create, are you sitting down for this?, actual toast.
Don’t be silly, Jester. You know I don’t cook.
That is all.
Tags: Edvard Munch, Etiquette, gift giving, gift giving etiquette, humor, Jester, lavish gift, Munch, Queen of the World, satire, The Scream, writing
